"Morning after" poops are always like, interesting.
i feel like a thai whore the morning after the navy left.
no homo or anything but the way you were dancing with that girl gave me a boner
I just saw a fat chick walking across campus talking to herself and licking her lips. Diet season is scary.
WHAT DO YOU MEAN I DIDN'T APOLOGIZE? THERE WAS A PEACE OFFERING MADE VIA TACO BELL.
They sent me to the hospital. Apparently, of the many things I said, I looked at the doctor and told him, "Wow... it's like you're a REAL DOCTOR!"
ASS. GYMANSTICS. OLYMPICS. NOW!!!
Pierced my own nipple last night, and yes everyone did go absolutely nuts
Metaphysical thesis on the illusion of self+ 2 day adderal binge = the walls of reality are crumbling
There's nothing more awkward than going on a beer run with 3 ten year olds....teacher of the year right here!
Let's be honest I'm gonna watch murder she wrote and eat taquitos at three am
He deserves someone who will touch his penis at 3 a.m.
I'll be perfectly honest; there are times other guys have consented to have sex with me because of my punctuation.
My first love was gay too, it's okay.
I’M PUT OFF FROM FOOD RN BC EARLIER I GOT SOME WATER AND I WAS 4 SIPS IN WHEN I NOticed A FUCKING BURGER KING F R Y IN MY D R I N K
Randomize
