I just found all of my Mary-Kate and Ashley movies. Can you say drinking game?
Its midnight, he's burning water on the stove and keeps yelling at me and telling me not to burn myself.
the night got glorious when you tried to do an upside down keg stand with a near empty key and dropped it on your face
I only wish the guy being lead around by his cock at the drag show was the weirdest part of my night.
As if me making pizza in a skillet wasn't enough proof that I was in no state to be cooking, this burn blister on my hand is
I drink more single than I do in relationships. Except with assface.
Teaching my class, used paper clips to fix my hair. Too hungover to be a kindergarten teacher.
Well my sober pact lasted almost an hour. Then I did four shots. But in other news, one of those shots I took with a midget. So like I couldn't turn that shit down.
Gonna play a drinking game called drink til I feel my emotions. The things I do so I can be a therapist
and then I said "oh, I see the price of Plan B has gone up". and the pharmacist looked at me very sadly. I was just trying to make conversation.
I just sold Adderall to a priest, im not quite sure how I feel about this situation
I need to hurry up and get over my feelings for him so next year's tipsy reunion sex won't be clouded by emotions.
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
if you want the landscaping job, the uniform is a speedo. no exceptions.
Tinder has really served to stimulate the number of sex related demons summonings.
Randomize
