Funniest shit happened at the grocery store. This kid kept asking his mom for candy over and over and she told him 'daddy said no' and he screamed 'he isn't my dad' so loud everyone in the store was silent it was awesome.
there was already a condom in her . . and it was bigger than me
You proceeded to call me a hoe and then informed me that Bear Grylls is and always will be more important than I am to you.
Your brother came in a girls mouth for the first time last night... Ah the tales told whilst buying minors beer.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I need to establish a pattern of dominance early.... I'm like a slutty Cesar Milan
I drunkenly took 3 laxatives last night since I felt fat.... this is going to be a rough morning
It's not socially acceptable to be drunk in adult world. That fact makes me die a little inside.
a pizza costume came into my possession last night. needless to say i showed up to his house wearing only the pizza, shouting "delivery" into his window.
I'm so high. Midnight pancake breakfast in bed
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Let's play the game let's see how long Kayla can be sober
time to play the game of how much Christmas shopping I can get done before these shrooms kick in
I'm pretty sure his cum gave me swimmer's ear.
My diet has been 80% Fun Dip this week, soooo, no. Not good.
So the tow truck driver didn't charge us because Ian convinced him that he was sent out by God to share his cocaine with us.
It really hurts to walk. Any idea what happened to my hip?
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