What would a frattoo be? Maybe like the Chinese symbol for Keystone Light.
p.s. this guy just tipped me with ecstasy pills. is this real life
using my metrocard to split lines. it says optimism on the back. i am optimistic that you will appear at my door and help me finish all these drugs.
I went out in the middle of the night to smoke my weed.. Didn't realize my dad was sitting on the patio doing the exact same thing..
just woke up COVERED in glow sticks and glitter. didn't even have to turn the light on to puke.
I just undressed him with my eyes. And gave him a 10 inch penis. I hope its true.
Tell me how you feel about belly buttons
In other news, I had my first sex related injury of the school year so that's cool
I did stay at work til 5 but for the last hour I was just taking naked pics on my desk for some tinder guy
Told him my main goal was to seduce the man and convince him to leave his wife for me. He didn't argue just asked me to let him know if I succeeded so he didn't waste anymore time not sleeping with the secretary at his office. I have an incredible boyfriend.
Whelp, I woke up on the front lawn this morning. I have got to stop wearing these underwear. Every time I do, I end up puking in someone's greenery.
not sure if actually covered in glitter or just drunk
I TAUGHT HER CAT TO SIT. CATS DON'T FUCKING SIT ON COMMAND. BUT THIS ONE DID!
It's basically my crowning achievement.
Nothing says girls night like wine cheese and pregnancy tests 😂
I think I just received the most dignified proposition of my life. From the father of the bride. Who'd have thought.
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