ive had 594 apples! thats 99 apples 6 times! math!
Do I need to let your sister outside to go pee or anything before I leave?
Check if I'm alive tomorrow. If not, tell my parents I died happy and that there's a gay cheerleader in the spare bedroom
Lol i'z typing this with my 962 nose
962=my?
Yeah.i
I just heard a woman call her child a butt face. Repeatedly. He's crying now. I love walmart.
she just gave her compliments to the chief, at dennys
considering I showed up there after a xanax, 2 bottles of champagne and some coke, no shirt and someone else s husband... I'm sure you can figure that one out.
Breakfast-of-shame with my mother. I was in half of a sexy Mad Hatter costume. We had artisan bagels and judgement.
I couldn't find the bathroom last night...so I wrapped myself in the curtains and stuck my butt out the window and peed from two stories up. Thank god I don't remember.
he kept opening the car door while we were ON THE HIGHWAY and insisting he could walk. next time i drive my boss home at 3am i'm putting the child lock on
you were drunkenly making out with a 20-something in front of your wife. at least the guy your wife left with was decent looking.
What's the place called?
I searched "county" on google, but....there's a lot of results
Everyone keeps telling me I look so healthy and happy today: the power of the penis people!!
I WAS KIDDING ABOUT SLUTEMBER BUT ITS ACTUALLY HAPPENING
I'm so upset I left my sombrero at the expo center
Randomize
