It's like the water temple from zelda. but with more tits.
Minivans at bars can only lead to bad things.
I just gave the bartender my number in roman numerals. If she figures it out, she's worth a shot
we gave some random guy a shot for shoveling our sidewalk.
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he laminated a picture of his dick.
They are fixing my bike for free, trying to smoke me out, and their kids keep hugging me.
There are a bunch of highly educated, advanced in their field, PUSSY ASS BITCHES in this bar
Should I take my grandma to a keg tomorrow or not? Serious question
Relationships are fuckin' work. And you can't just up and leave with no questions when you really just need to get home because you're about to shit your pants.
You're so wise.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Telling the family you're going for a run, getting dressed in workout clothes, and then walking halfway around the block and smoking a joint. This is my life
Agreed then we'll really be on our A game tomorrow. And by A I mean alcohol.
The last person that asked me out got pushed down an escalator
MDMA IS GREAT AND YOU WERE THE WORST GIRLFRIEND EVER.
Dude we need to hang out soon. I'm in the mood to get arrested again.
I've been trying to fall asleep with ice packs covering my vagina for the last hour... Sorry for being vulgar. I'm going to kill myself.
Randomize