As long as they suck a good dick I don't care what fruit they have and where they have it
A woman in the waiting room at the STD clinic told me that she is going to pray to jesus for my penis.
and people in Baltimore still get a bad wrap.
idea:have a jello shot stand(opposed to lemonade stand) to raise money for spring break
He keeps trying to sell me the forks from his kitchen drawer
hey tell your friend im sorry for licking his mouth, that was probably inappropriate
If you hook up with your cousin you will permanently be my favorite person ever.
how are things with the new girl?
good, we have nothing in common but she likes being choked
whoa! who said he's my boyfriend?
Oops. Sorry. That guy you keep accidentally running into in public. And at home. And with your vagina.
Breaking a step ladder over someone's back turned into a really fun game, way too quickly.
Jenna, I'm going to use all my homosexual powers to steal him from you
Austin, I will climb on top of your shoulders and slowly suffocate you with my vagina
I'm sitting on my couch eating a bag of marshmallows and watching someone run bare ass down the street. What has happened to my life?
You have mono. It's like being pregnant, your are excused from normal social niceties like responding to people.
get your sex hands out of my capn crunch
i just love the holidays, i hotboxed a gingerbread house last night
Nah I think he's a bit weirded out I worked out where he lives from a Facebook photo
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