dear life, i get it, drinking is not a contest
Our professor just said "No class today, go get stoned." A guy seriously walked over and hugged him.
That's the last time we joust in Radio Flyer wagons after margarita night.
I looked at him all bewildered and he said, "what? I figured if it was under 30 seconds it'd be free."
Theres an amvulance here. It might be for me
False alarm it was margarita mix all over my hands not blood
At one point last night I over heard you say " I'm gonna puke in a bag and pour it down your throat" I LOVE YOU.
New drink: empty coke can vodka water maple syrup. Get on my level
They have a house rule that you get a composite for every 5 guys you sleep with. Where should I hang my new one?
So I've been spending my morning trying to figure out if there's a corealation between Wednesday margarita night and the boat that's now in my living room.
I'm by the tree and the Dora the explorer balloon .. Look for the Dora the explorer balloon
I just sat on the floor of my shower for 20 minutes to punish myself for drunk me's decisions.
The cop told me I was the prettiest guy he'd arrested in a while. I'm still not sure if it was a come on or not.
I am so disappointed that he didn't steal a Christmas tree last night.
The taste of regret at 8am, yup that taste is Jack Daniel's
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