Ha. No worries! So loud here &god I love drag queens! How does it happen, the congealing?
Is it a bad that I spent my 5 year anniversary with my husband texting my ex boyfriend?
I wish my dick could take responsibilities for his own actions
did that guy on the oscars really just tell me to text a dolphin?
the guy was wearing a viagra shirt, i knew what i got myself into.
He blow dried my hair while I sucked his dick. Now THAT'S fucking teamwork.
A-plus on my thesis. I deserve the blowjob to end all blowjobs. And I wanna wear a crown while you do it.
Remember when I booked a hotel room for next sat? Nneither do I.
He once got bit in the face by a dog and still got laid the same night. He owns Memorial Day Weekend
I think the threesome was inevitable when she walked out in nothing but his boxers followed by him completely naked.
So I get to my parents and walk in the door so my mom knows I'm safe and alive and my grandpa looks at me and says "were you being someone's bitch". And I about died of laughter
Wow, he seems so solid
Got hit on by the cable guy. Solid 9. Think Orlando Bloom with a glorious curly mullet.
I'm making myself the patron saint of bisexuality
only you would understand that I was talking from the perspective of my boobs
Whoever was the bastard/bitch/genius who duct taped my keys to my dick so I wouldn't lose them. I hate you.
Randomize