is it true guys wash their penises in the sink if they think they're getting laid at a bar?
it's more of a rinse.
Watching marley and me... this girls got me whipped man
it felt like the flash was giving me a handjob
I'm allowed to be upset. I've never had that many fingers in my ass
I cried and ate like 6 tacos in the taco bell parking lot at almost midnight, sober, alone, listening to a demi lavato cd. And that was the good part.
My 16 year old neighbor is throwing a rager cuz her parents are out of town and my brother and I are sitting on the porch listening to A) someone fuck on the trampoline B) a girl bawling about her parents finding out C) someone puking in what we think is the hot tub. And overall we take a shot everytime someone says "bra"
just once I'd like to not pass out before we leave the designated pre-drinking place
I think I just legit sprained my wrist from holding myself up while giving a blow J. God dammit come already
Apparently hitting a bong with your mouth half numb is hilarious but frustrating!
Please tell me that all of the things I remember doing last night didn't really happen. Please.
Go to a building you've never been before and take a shit. It's marvelous
And you are going to be so turned on by my batman skills later
Wanna get drunk and play candy land? If so you are 2 steps behind.
You almost got us killed.
YOU’RE WELCOME FOR NAVIGATING YOU TO A ONCE IN A LIFETIME EXPERIENCE.
I just want to get high and watch Dr. Pimple Popper.
Randomize
