I thought it was weird that her dad told me to finish and get out after he walked in on us. I like him
like if they didnt have tits and vagina, they have no idea how uninteresting to us they would be
we can't become the bulimic house in the complex dude. Besides, you need teeth for your career.
Hey I never found my wallet but i did find a bag of 14 soft taco supremes
I have your wallet. Trade you for the tacos.
I feel like I can hear facebook. What did we smoke?
Best part of being a cop: When I showed up at Thanksgiving with stitches in my head I could tell them I was "protecting and serving" not "drinking and falling down". Career validated.
I gave him 3 xanax and recorded the ball drop. He's gonna think tonight is New Years.
Dude he was a used car salesman for his friends' penises. I know I have something here that's right for you!
They need 20 oz Capri suns with liquor. Douches need to grow up with their clients
His dad was on the tv delivering the local 11 o' clock news while we were having sex
You're his holy grail. The moment he finally gets you to orgasm he'll probably just retire and become a monk.
I just can't have sex in the car again. it's just too much
i spent my Thursday drinking before noon and not wearing pants
so then the cop took one last hit off our blunt and then drove off in his car and we just all stood there thinking, yea... that just happened...
I was just at the gas station and happened to look left and see a girl blowing some guy. How was your night?
Randomize
