You're a womanizer and a bitch.
okay pat passed out under dana's car
just won a stolen shopping cart in a dance off in a parking lot.
I just made a milkshake without a blender... thats determination
I'm not 100% sure, but I think someone gave me a bath last night...
the only sentence i could make out from her was "i will wash these herpes away"
I'm leaving my hospital band on when we go drinking tonight. I'm aiming for pity sex.
Fantastic. I'm pretty cold, tired, dirty, and hungry, but that comes with an adventurous weekend. Who needs a wallet or keys anyway? I could totally be homeless.
I only feel half bad for cheating on him because while we were fucking I was given great relationship advice and now I'm ready to work some things out.
Lube filled water balloons always make for a good time
I'm pretty stoned, and for a second I forgot that I'm not actually Barbie and I was getting excited about all the fun we were going to have on my jet.
He spelled Steven with "ph", needless to say my nose was almost bleeding from the amount of axe he was wearing.
We just won 1800 at the casino and are going to the strip club. Who gives a fuck if it's 5pm
just saw a kid get pissed on buy a tiger at the zoo. His dad is rofling and the kid is crying. I think I have to go make a new friend
She had sex with a starfish painted on her face. Thank you Halloween
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