So its not gay if you have sex with another woman and its academic
so what if I'm having sex with a woman for recreation?
Thats gay
I kind of had a moment like that kid whose mom cancelled his WoW subscription, except I didn't try to shove a remote control up my own ass.
I plan on offering nudes to any guy that wants to give me notes from the past five weeks of class
i havent thrown up in four monthes, im clearly not drinking enough
We are winners. And by winners I mean home wrecking sluts
Isn't that what our 20s r for?? Testing the strength of other people's shitty relationships?
Tonights dinner consisted of washing down my plan b pill with a bottle of wine and toast. College is turning my life around
I got so drunk last night that I drunk texted myself. "hand jobs are the currency of the future"
IM TRYING TO BE RESPONSIBLE AND ALL I WANT TO DO IS FUNNEL CHEAP BEER AND SCREAM ABOUT HOW MUCH I LOVE OUR NATION
I'm trying to get fucked by 4 girls here, and you're worried about verb tenses?!
Just had a serious discussion with my ex-boyfriend about sexy nurse vs. sexy teacher. So score one for friendship I guess.
I just bought emergency deodorant at Dominick's and put it on in front of a homeless man while waiting for the bus. He laughed and said 'girl, you a mess'. This is my life.
I just realized that with the new snapchat update / emoji sticker thing I can now use easily use emojis to cover my boobs in nudes.
Um, when I went down on you it got stuck there. Still had gum in my mouth. Didn't exactly have use of my hands to assist
Hey, sorry I choked you last night... I was just really excited to see you.
No offense, but I don’t think I would want to see him in anything skimpier than a hazmat suit.
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