I wish i could tell a story about guys I know without the phrase "and then I blew him." coming up.
My porch is a mess of peanut butter and tostitos...thanks for that.
In the library. Still drunk. Shoes missnig. Term paper due in fiften minutes. Iff I puke u think theyll throw me out?
Btw...pregnancy boobs are amazing. I don't recommend pregnancy in general but the boobs are good.
They showed a guy on tv in a Brady jersey and a sweatpants boner when the NE offense took the field. They didn't show his face. I hope that wasn't you.
her dad gauges his nipple piercings.
OMG. Hung over at my grandparents house. Threw up on 3 T-stops, countless snowbanks, and the grandparents driveway. Was proposed to last night. Bruised from head to toe from falling down 3 flights of stairs. Debating my intelligence because it seems that "happy new years" is too hard for me to spell. How were your new years festivities?
I partied with a deaf mute last night. strangely enough the more drunk I get the easier it is to understand him.
Reasons why I'm always right: I am older, I am wiser, I have a larger penis
Being a slave to ur dick is exhausting.
I tried to have sex on someone's sisters horse last night
If you had a dick, I would hope it falls off and comes back to haunt you while fucking your ears at night. But you don't. But if you did, that's how mad I am at you
Talk about having your cake and eating it he has basically demolished the whole fucking bakery
He asked me how flexible I was and all I could think about was that time I threw my back out putting in a tampon.
Unless your name is actually "Ticfj" like my phone says, I have no idea who you are...
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