my new favorite insult= "thundercunt"
jess passed out on the pong table. it was depressing until we started singing shania twain an hour later and heard her muffled voice singing along.
I'll be heading downtown with donuts and a lawn chair at 9am to go Halloween Walk o' Shame spotting.
The salesman looked at me like I was crazy when I explained the need for a headboard that had slats so I could handcuff people to it
You called me at 2am singing 'happy birthday' while screaming 'I fucking love you' verses, all while eating a burrito and taking a piss off your apartment balcony
Yeah I know, the people below me already told me
Freshmen girls are like potato chips you can't have just one.
if i can get a chik with a dibaetes pump naked a sling certainly isnt going to get in my way
I mean, I can get to know him eventually. The time frame doesn't really matter. I'll have sex with him regardless of whether he's interesting or not.
I would have done it. But then again I am a starving student who can manipulate my brain into thinking my decision was somehow morally justifiable.
struggle bus is officially taking me on a road trip to hell. If this is just the first destination, I'll jump out the fucking window.
I love that there are toys on the counter. Coffee, tea, wine bottles, gag ball, and handcuffs.
My kitchen gets me.
Yeah, great now I will be tampon girl
did i get sucker punched in the face last night or was our make-out session just that intense?
Somehow, you looked so classy chugging that bottle of wine last night.
PLEASE LET MY BIRD FUCK YOUR BIRD
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