honestly if we didnt hate the same people we would have a friendship based on nothing
i called her out for picking her nose in public and he still wonders why i don't like her!
How did you steal an entire pie?
I don't know. It's in my purse.
My flask crushed my baggie full of aderall in my backpack, why can't my demons just live together in peace
I've been watching anime, masturbating and eating nutella for three days. I hope she never comes back.
My dad just called from upstairs on the house phone to tell me to bring him a beer. You tell me how I am.
well, i woke up this morning to a note i left myself my dry erase board, "dear you: i had sex with someone awful."
booty call hours are between 1:30-3:00 AM thurs-sat with the exception of major drinking holidays and election days. please try again
how exactly do you say, "i only agreed to meet you for breakfast because i thought we could go to your place and fuck afterwards."
Well at least the house will be decorated when u get evicted.
i refuse to give everyone the satisfaction of seeing the results of my acting on my thoughts
Got home. All the lights were on. All the doors were unlocked. My room was covered in beads, there's puke in the sink and of course our toilet is still broke. I'd say it was a decent Mardi Gras
I'm so high. I'm going to need directions to get home.
It will pretty much be equal to the feeling I had when you let me hold your dick while you were peeing, or when I graduated high school!
I've finally become one of those chicks with a taco in her purse.
Randomize
