I wish Michael J Fox could read me bedtime stories
He could rock you to sleep
dear roomies, would anyone wanna donate the booze they left in the fridge over break to the "your roomies snowed in and all alone" fund?
I have 11 glasses of water and one beer on the table infront of me. Have to keep going to different bartends to get more. There are only two though and I think they've caught on
i woke up surrounded by junior mints. not to mention, there was a huge pyramid of natty cans baracading the door shut. this is why i can't drink alone.
Maybe someone other than the mad hatter should have gone with him to the ER
its fine. mom just made me chug a long island. and made a crying face when i balked. we'll talk tomorrow.
ALL CAPS CUZ ITS SERIOUS SHAME.
Try to make ecstasy cheese. Capitalize on the molly and greek yogurt trends. MARKETING
I'm sure he'll make the rejection quick and completely justified.
I'm horny too so maybe we will both recap our regrets on Sunday
Well at least ssomeone is or the state is tafing over ir in twligiob
How fast can you get here?\nI need to ride your cock into the sunset.
Saw the guy I once slept with, he was buying Beer and shit tone of diapers. Glad to see how 2016 will turn out.
How was jagerbomb pong?
It was like communism. Great in theory. Terrible when put into practice
So I figured out why that guy from Tinder stopped messaging me back. He got married.
Randomize
