I told him we can only be friends from now on & he said he knows but that I'm the 'best he ever had'.
you slept with him again didn't you
you can't just quote Drake AND compliment me at the same time & receive nothin. he knows me too well
He poured the shots. We did them together. I cheersd him out of the shower
he proceeded to grab my vagina through my leggings in the middle of the dance floor. strangely enough I was okay with it
I wish we could skip the pretense of being normal and just start drinking wine with breakfast
I think my mom knows im high. It could be because im slow dancing with my cat in the kitchen. The dip and kiss is what gave it away.
I told him I would only take his calls if he was dead, dying, capturing a midget, or buying me shots.
I stand by my new policy.
currently taking a solo cab to the strip club at 1 in the morning. this is healthy.
drinking ice water after you brush your teeth, is like Antarctica blowing a load into your mouth.
Koalas always seemed like really high little puppy kittens to me.
I got pushed into some bald man in the pit and spent the next few minutes with my face against his head. Man I love ecstasy.
What do I do when my mom and I both awkwardly spot the Rocky Horror parody porn sitting on the coffee table? Leave it or try to move it?
Our host-mom was rubbing her back sympathetically going "muy bien, chica" while she puked on the beach. So yeah, I think we got the best one.
well what the fuck is the POINT of teetotal mardi gras
Who died my cat blue again?
So apparently my bro is going to make me fix his tattoo this trip... He sent me a pic of said tattoo. Tattoo is of a sperm, on his penis, which was in a woman's mouth... Wth
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