Awesome. Ask her out.
Nope. She's got a detail of ed hardy security around her.
I hooked up with a Michael Jackson impersonator last night. Too soon?
better yet, through the bookshelves. like an intellectual glory hole
We're playing Edward Bottle-of-eight-dollar-sale-wine-hands now
Dude I thought this was going to suck, but moving back in with my dad is like being at a frat party every night only everyone is 40 years old.
It's not fair. Guys with dicks that huge should not be allowed to be catholic.
The night was going well until I found tufts of my hair in the freezer. Then I got nervous
The guy in the cast riped the tap off the keg and hit steve with it
We got back together. The pastures weren't greener on the other side, the dicks were just smaller
I think my uterus is still laying in your bed somewhere under the covers.
i spilled a box of white cheddar cheezits on the bathroom floor about 2 days ago. when i went back to the house he yelled at me from the bathroom: "THANKS FOR THE CHEEZITS, I'll ALWAYS HAVE A SNACK FOR WHEN IM SHITTING NOW!"
My vag hurts but I feel vindicated
That is an interesting emotion combo
he'll always be the guy that i fucked on the bathroom floor
Dude he's moving to fucking Germany now. What is it about your vagina that makes men want to flee the continent?
You think the guy at the speed wash knows he needs to scrub the vomit off the side of my car?
He knew.
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