Please, let me fuck your mom
i've counted 4 condom wrappers but only 3 condoms. not again.
He just asked me if his big had a curved penis. Awkward? I think so.
yeah, he just sent me a picture of himself with his shirt off.... It didnt turn me on, it just made me want to buy him a big mac....
It's official, the cities waste management does not recycle porn.
Annnnd I didn't even notice there is a guy dancing in a jock strap beside me. That explains girls smiling at me
You shouldn't do laundry high cus pink.
It was close. I was the girl scoping out where all the garbage cans were located in the class just in case.
This is why you don't heavily drink before 2 midterms.
The number of times I have seen your cock and the number of times I have wanted to see your cock are different!
Nothing like waking up and watching Dr. Phil and masturbating. It's like a protein shake for the day.
I just had to explain to a 5 year old why I had fuzzy handcuffs hidden in a macaroni box under my bed.
Floor bacon is actually really good
Text me later if you aren't dead and wanna have a drink later
I supernannyed him into submission
It's a classy one I promise! Their toilets are cushioned an tier wifi is named hummingbird
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