I just heard a girl in all seriousness say, "I told him I'm not a stalker. I just really really want to talk to him."
walkin around the woods blazed, drawing pictures of trees and plants, i get a grade for this
And surprisingly enough iPhone does not have an app for Russian mail order brides.
my quiz for the book was only 2 questions and my one answer was sorry and then a sad face
I'm just gonna go nail your roommate after we break up anyway.
I mean, I know they're ugly, but I cant turn down a birthday threesome.
Only you could be admitted to the ER and walk out with a nurse's phone number. I wish I was gay
She tried to cook Velveeta IN the oven on clean mode.
I've woken up in some weird places in my lifetime, but never in a tent in my own garage.
I don't understand how these people can do extreme gymnastics and I have problems walking up the stairs.
I'm not sure I can continue to condone our having sex in all of your friends' beds
Literally just saw a 7 year old intently rub his penis on the metro. I'm not ready for this
Day two of not drinking, I think my cat is trying to eat me.
Psychosis secondary to sobriety???
I offered to trade my cat for a bottle of tequila as long as it had a handle on it and realized I had a problem
Dude whoeverrs house this is has only creeam cheese and beer in the fridge. Thats my kinda diet
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