No i dont need Magnum Condoms, that would be like putting MC Hammer pants on my dick
He corrected me on my grammar when I came. Fuck English majors.
Transgendered man at work dawning a slutty batman costume. I hate Halloween
I don't know. I woke up in the back of a cab in a drive thru line at whataburger with police lights flashing and my friend yelling" you didn't have to sell us out phil!" to the cab driver.
I love my boobs, they're the only thing that supports me. They make me a solid 6.
While I was fucking him, he grabbed a taco off his shelf and started eating it. I had taco dripped on me. I have no idea where the taco came from.
Are you complaining because you're getting too much sex to find the time to masturbate?
Well, when you say it like that it sounds silly.
Because Kyle had a tattoo kit at his house and I wanted one and all he could draw was a mustache or a stickman on fire
TACOBELL COOL RANCH TACOS MARCH 7TH. I think realistically that will be more like valentines day for us. Bc nothing says romance like tacobell.
Just realized i left my bra at his house. WHY do i suck at one night stands?!
Legitimately sent a work email with "Hey, you kids, get off my lawn" as the subject line.
I am sitting in my lingerie, eating frozen cookie dough out of a bowl, and watching family. My hump day is going great
STOP SENDING ME NAKED PICTURES WHEN I'M TRYING TO TEACH. MONDAY TUESDAY 1-3 IS A DICK AND ARSE FREE ZONE
feeding cats lunchmeat on my kitchen floor. come pour me another shot.
he was Irish, I had to have sex with him.
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