There is a banner on a house by campus that says "welcome to college dads. Thanks for dropping off your daughters!"
So I went out tonight...met a guy who slightly resembled my dad,huge creeper, he asked me to "hang out" so I gave him my moms number since he was more her type:)
so after he got his stomach pumped, he asked for a smoking room.
Okay so if I'm going to keep referring to my hangover in the third person it needs a name.
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its a saturday night. im home alone watching legally blonde, eating week old birthday cake and drinking milk out of the carton. so yeah im doing real well
Shaving your vagina at 8 months pregnant is not an easy chore.
I imagine anything that isn't a dilldo attached to a jackhammer, powered by a generator won't be amazing enough for you
More importantly, he hasn't caught an STD yet. I mean I'd say it's luck, but at this point it has to be skill.
unfortunetly they frown upon drunk on duty paramedics
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I'm pretty sure they kept making references about gangbanging me but I was too stoned to catch on, I just sat there and stared at his kitten.
Didn't want you to think it had been open season on my vagina since we broke up.
just pleasured myself to USA hockey beating Russia in the shoot out. god bless America.
Working nightshift means its never too early to start drinking- and you can quote me on that
I just realized. I havent even gotten a paycheck from this new job yet and already laid one of the girls most of the dudes are after
I miss painting strippers for Christmas. Holidays not the same without glitter and body paint
I'll be your substitute stripper tonight.
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