:( I'm sorry!!!
sexual favors sorry?
absolutely not
sometimes i think my sole purpose in life is to cockblock my roommate
THEY'RE. IN. YOUR. BED. THEY RANDOMLY SHOW UP. AND GET IN YOUR BED.
I know. She seems like she getting that "need some dick" restlessness. Might explain the feisty attitude
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you did a full monologue with your sober self last night. different voices and everything.
Yes stubble LOOKS hot but factor in his shitty bj skills and I might as well have jacked off with apricot scrub
We're going to catch a squirrel this summer
I don't know what to think. Also, I decided to take a bath...sorry in advance if I flood the bathroom.
We're trying to make our wedding vows nice but meeting on OkCupid fucks that up entirely.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You need to somehow incorporate the phrase "these hoes ain't loyal" into your best man speech.
How does a face ride mean we're back together?
.... I'm on a random couch somewhere in Newark wrapped in a Lightning McQueen blanket
next time you go get food at three am and leave a rando here can you warn me??? Also i tazed him. but it was just my little one so i think he'll be fine. bring me some fries.
i woke up and couldnt remember who was in my bed and it was so dark.. i rolled over and started kissing him and feeling his face because hey... if the blind can see like that.. maybe i could too
Omfg I just White Claw shamed a Girl Scout Cookie mom and I feel SO BAD.
Randomize