you can't spend the night you always smell like dirty underwear and my roommates complain
He said we were driving the golf cart through the woods screaming 'iceroad truckers' for four hours in the dark
My roommate was eating ketchup out of a bowl. Get me the hell out of here.
watching law and order svu marathons. all of the sex crimes cases start like my sat night.
i forgot to tell you that olivia sent me a text yesterday that the mormon girl got caught with weed in her vagina at school
now that you've tased me I refuse to buy you flowers
It's Been clinically proven that people who have sex 6 or more times per week are happier than those who don't. Just and FYI. For your mental health. From a soon so be psychologist. Who is drunk.
Can rosie odonnell just not be a lesbian? Shes stressing me out, knowing we bat for the same team.
I know you are gonna wanna ask a lot of questions but when we are home I need to cover your face with deli meat and photograph it
I need to stop getting picked up at 3 am by my friends parents. This is the second time this week. I'm a grown man.
The crowd is chanting "we want sex!" There's a man dressed as bacon. That is all
We smoked with this guy who looked just like Hyde from that 70's show in an alley. It was a divine moment in my life.
I stopped hooking up with him and ran to the bathroom to throw up. He saw me throwing up and it made him throw up
WHY IS THE HAIRSPRAY SOUNDTRACK PLAYING IN THE LIQUOR STORE
who says I'm not relevant to the kids today? Just had snapchat sex, blows the roof off aim cyber sex
Randomize