Fuck you I wanted that fabulous flaming homo to win american idol...its like we lost the gay marriage vote...again
i'm pleased to announce i can now open a bottle of wine with my shoe if called upon to do so.
I just want you to know I tipped the cab driver $10 last night because I felt bad that he didn't have healthcare.
Your ability to be a slut in your nightmare astounds me
I knew the night had taken a turn when we showed up and our flabongo was being chilled in the freezer.
Ryab! Make hr wtop. Mshe make sme speee. I don want to pee. I want sev. He was so igbad. Redpo.
I'm gonna take my bong and hot box the pirate ship in the daycare playground.
You me handle of captain and a sorostitute study sesh, if we don't get laid mancards must be relinquished
Made a holiday JibJab of all my fucks. How's your night?
Do you still speak french? one of two girls I woke up with only speaks french...
My hands are stained pink. I look like I fisted a muppet.
Oh, that was the alley that I ate a pine cone in.
You mowed a straight line through three yards because you were, and I fucking quote, "In the zone." I think they know.
This woman at the blackjack table is sitting on a pile of newspaper so she can pee at her seat and never miss a hand.
thank you for being so understanding of my weak stomach and poor self-control
Randomize
