There could not be a more unattractive person. She just told me her period was so bad that she got sick. I think my penis retracted and killed himself
at the gym hungover with vodka in a water bottle. don't say i'm not fulfilling my resolutions
Sorry about blasting sandstorm on a loop when i left for work this morning. But maybe this will teach you to not come home trashed on a tuesday night with some chick and have loud sex till 4 in the morning. The walls are thin, remember?
where did this taco bell managers name tag come from ?
It's so hard to find a shirt to wear out that is easily taken off, cut off my paramedics, but says "I'm a grown, respected woman"
So coach him. No guy wants to admit being unsure of something in bed. It's a man-law or something.
I think I want to impress his gay best friend more than him..
Come to office depot with me I need help picking out a daily planner that will help me keep all of my casual sex dates organized.
At this point I think you're just judging my taste in men
I called my mom while I was blackout drunk, and told her I was drunk, safe, and happy. But really, I was just drunk.
Those thigh tattoos deserve the handsomest of grins between them. Dont settle.
I'm sorry I've been mean recently but tbh it really turns me on seeing you cry so it might happen a lot..... You're a pretty crier I don't get it
He was fingering me and I came so hard that I actually broke his wrist. We're at the ER now.
Here when you come to your senses come back here and I'll fuck you back out of them.
So she was amazing, that's what. Idk if it was the blow or the blowjob, but both my heads are still tingling.
Randomize
