she doesn't hate you. She just thinks you need a personality adjustment, speech therapy and weight watchers.
We argued about the championship during sex. Absolutely the manliest moment of my life.
It's kind of sad that your greatest accomplishment today is that you stood up and didn't fall down.
I dont think punching her boob is the type of reverse psychology that will get her to blow you.
Yes, that was me on the jumbo tron. No, i don't know why i was hiding.
Wedding cake is always the best dance partner. In the corner. With a jack and coke. And while I'm crying. Listening to "Almost Paradise".
You could probably play six degrees of separation of my cock in this city.
Nah I'm perfectly content solely banging the married bartender once a week.
That's practically a relationship for you
Although a guy bought me a shot of fireball last wknd and I told him he wouldn't even get half a handjob for that and walked away so don't tell me I don't have standards
what's the least obnoxious place that i could barf on the bus?
I feel like Jeremy snapchattong while we're fucking is a perfect example of our generation..
I want to be "performing a disservice to society by actually wearing clothes in public" hot.
who says I'm not relevant to the kids today? Just had snapchat sex, blows the roof off aim cyber sex
You're a wizard. You are a master of disguise. You are beautiful. I love you.
I would really like it if you guys got out of my bush
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