you threw your tampon into someones open car window...while they were driving.
i'm dressed up like the coppertone baby and being hit on a guy in a monk costume. the irony is not lost on me.
why does the wii remote smell like your vag?
he came over wasted, used the bathroom, drank some water, and fell asleep holding my hand. what kind of a fuck buddy does that??
Careful when you walk in I'm laying by the door.
We're on a cock hunt. Everything is fair game.
well shes beginning to earn a reputation as "the girl who tries to bone her hook ups in the ass with a pickle"
he got all sad that i was going to fuck his roommate, so i just asked him if it would make him feel better if I let him motor boat me. i am such a saint.
This is kind of a weird question but were you the other girl Ben asked to do a group sex thing with?
Chipotle just hit me... I want to go sit in the corner of the shower and cry until morning.
I'm not drunk because I think my blood just is alcohol from last night so being drunk is sober. If that makes sense
Going through my bras is like traveling back in time through my past hookups and relationships....
Hold on... Are we having an intellectual conversation about porn?
Yup
I love us.
I only had ten dollars. So leave it to Katie to somehow makeout with the bartender, on his shift mind you, and get free drinks.
Pinterest knows I’m getting divorced
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