You'd love this place it's beautiful. Plus these people smell like garlic
I thought spray tan was a myth
?
You know, something that only happens in Jersey
so i was pissing and the phone rang but i forgot i was pissing so i just ran to answer the phone. it was too late when i realized
I submitted an essay to my history teacher comparing changes in the middle ages to the song changes by David Bowie. I can't wait to see my grade on that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It seems to me that once you begin comparing Jesus to hercules and calling him a super pimp you should put the wine away...
Lesbian sex in an alleyway drunk.
Cuz last time you told me I was going to be shocked about something you got a hand job from a stripper in canada
It looks like a tornado ripped through our living room and scattered clothes everywhere.
Count the bras. It was a category 3 whorenado ... I convinced the lesbians to come back to the apartment for a bottle of wine.
sitting alone on a bench with a sombrero and a bottle of vodka. really angry i got here before you guys.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So, I without a doubt haven't used the bag I'm now carrying since we were dating. Just had to discreetly throw out an unopened magnum in a bus station.
I'll have sex with you for tacos. I don't care, man.
Remember when we made out in a Chik-Fil-A drive thru?
I can't believe that after 9 years of signing things as "BATMAN", the first place to turn it down was the liquor store down the block.
Welcome aboard the S.S. struggle. I'll be your captain for today's voyage and Jeremy is your first mate. Just sit back and relax while we navigate the seas of drunken regret. Your forecast for the day is violently hungover with a chance of "shit, that really did happen!"
Setting myself up for trouble? Yes. But getting laid is a lot more important at this time.
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