C thinks vomiting on the batroom floor = reaon not to party. Lies. Party continues.
Unmistakable female orgasm noises coming from upstairs shower
She must've brought a toy -- seriously doubt that he's up to the task
After 9 shots a girl with a mustache......still not attractive
I'm not going to blow you while you look at fish on the internet.
They're all gay and their wifi network is named HOMOS. I want to live with these people.
I found a sock full of anal beads in my dryer. At least she washes them.
I dont know if this is a good time to tell you but im actually a freshman.. not a senior
YOHYFONSO!! YOU ONLY HAVE YOUR FIRST ONE NIGHT STAND ONCE!!
As a general rule of thumb, I don't call until the claw marks have healed.
Would you think less of me if I said I was eating a toaster strudel in the bath.
She unfriended me four minutes after we fucked. That must be some sort of record.
i'm drinking soco out of a mickey mouse cup right now. i love it when college and my childhood meet in the middle.
Star Wars means nothing to me. I know only the basics. Darth is Luke's father. R2 is short, C3 is gold. Yoda sings Rainbow Connection. The kinda stuff EVERYONE knows.
things i am: 1) still drunk 2) still wearing my leopard onesie 3) still gonna make my 9am lecture despite the odds CAN I GET A HIGH FIVE
I just balanced a full glass of chocolate milk on my left boob. Don't think i've ever been more proud.
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