What kind of friend are you? You don't even blackout anymore.
It's not called being bisexual its called making out with anyone that has a mouth
Walking home still drunk in snow. Snowflakes are my only hydration..Need moreee
We're friends. And when I drunkenly send u a pic of my left testicle i would appreciate a response.
I envy the lives of milf's kids, the little kid grabs her tits and she just laughs and says not now
Just threw up in nordstroms while shopping for moms bday with dad. He distracted workers for me. No more tequila
Blackout strip poker. Now. Bring flashlights because we found that candles are dangerous with nudity.
could you clean the juice and feathers off my bed I'm just not up for hangover cleaning.
OK! No more randoms over for the next month this is the third fucking time I caught a naked dude drinking my OJ in the middle of the night.
We were walking up the stairs and I asked Dominick what floor the party was on. The cop who had just tried breaking it up was walking down the stairs, drinking a slurpee, and answered, "Third floor."
According to you, you were with your "Eskimo bro for life" last night.
She screamed at us, "You guys need to wake up and smell the beer-bong!"
I find it fascinating that she'd be more comfortable with her mom finding out she submits dirty disney confessions on tumblr than about her secret email account she uses to chat with dutch and brazilian strangers.
Kids parked next to me are getting it on. I'm eating chicken nuggets listening to Kanye alone. Happy Valentine's Day.
My blue shorts are now brown from all the stripper fake tan
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