problem. drunk. stepbrother hitting on me again. help.
I missed Saved by the Bell this morning, but Ashley in a later episode of Fresh Prince is keeping the morning wood alive.
I am full of burrito and curiosity
do you know anything about the $5 bill with my name stapled to it in my purse??
im just going to wait until i dont feel like the grim reaper is having sex with me
i am one more weekend without sex away from dosing him with viagra and locking ourselves into a closet.
My lips are red and swollen. Solid proof that giving head is a viable alternative to lipstick and plumper.
She was eating whipped cream out of a plunger at 3 am in the morning. Yet somehow she still had an elegance about her.
winnie the pooh came out of nowhere and offered me a burrito...it was a fucking amazing burrito.
You'd think somebody who rolls blunts like jesus himself could roll a god damn burrito
You asked me if you could throw up in my shoe.
Checked my photo vault today... My self nudie folder is passing the 150 mark.
The weird thing is that you don't send them to anyone. You just keep them for yourself...
Let's be honest, college orientation is going to be "here's how to drink everclear"
Here’s how sick I am. I’m not hungry. I don’t want coffee. And I don’t want dick. So, you know it’s bad.
Jack and I got in a huge fight at 6am. He fell asleep when I was giving him head so I freaked. We were both black out so I made a memo in my phone reminding me
Randomize
