How drunk are you??
I'm flawless.
i dont know what it is, i just found it in my pants.
I just saw a neon sign in a bar window that says, "open to Public" but the L is burnt out.
this is no time to have dignity 4/20 is coming
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Kinda felt bad though cuz she whimpered and shuttered a lot, i felt like i was kicking a puppy, only the puppy liked it and came a bunch
Realized I'm still to drunk to comprehend work emails. Marked them all as unread. Here's to responsible hang overs.
i dont want to stoop that low. but my dick does.
Rachel and his cat watched us 69 last night. I pretended to be embarrassed the next day... But to be honest I like an audience
haha she has always seemed a little off. when i met her i was told she was the queen slut. and she had a crown on at the time. it seemed appropriate.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So it sounded like a midget was barfing IN our walls again this morning ...
I have a rash on my arm from the cat litter. Think the cat will be mad that I peed in its box?
Anyone who has court these next few days keep your head up & smile knowing we broke the County Record with 27 underage consumptions
I don't trust a bar IN TENNESSEE that doesn't have Jack Daniels.
Apparently I was so drunk last night I got stuck in the revolving door at the hotel. They have suveliance vidoes of it.
Like I'll lick your nuts to make you feel better if you don't get it
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