i have the same doorman on the day shift as the guyi shacked with has on the night shift. he just laughed at me when i came home this AM. FML
Sundresses, hats, and big glasses. That is the greatest trick the devil ever taught women.
Ask Niel how long his lasts if he plays with it a lot.
he says 15-20 minutes depending on the porn.
no his phone, idiot.
still haven't packed clothes. only wine. gotta love spring break
19 Unhappily Married People Confess The Red Flags They Ignored
Also you were throwing your phone yelling this is durable as shit
Then you started screaming that this was the first time you did e and that you had a 4.8 gpa, that was right before you almost suffocated between that one girl's tits.
every single time I see a picture of the two of them on facebook, I want to just call her and scream "your boyfriend said I give the best head on the east coast". But I've been told that would be inappropriate.
We need to do something soon. I need like 4,000 beers and a cigarette.
You're asking your pregnant booty call to go to a funeral with you?
These 23 People Destroyed Their Entire Lives In An Instant
It makes no sense at first, you go with it, it's fun and entertaining and then a disaster
The cleaning lady has moved my vibrator twice now so I would say I'm pretty ready to move out.
Are there edibles for sale in the Denver airport because if so bring those to my mouth
I think the best course of action at this point is to cut his balls off to get him to stop reproducing
Our lives are a motherfucking joke
Dude is PACKING. And yes I am holding up a cross and holy water and hissing like a pissed off goose.