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used his ipod to set the mood...1st song was livin on a prayr 2nd song was disco stick
i expected more from guys that i meet at the jersey shore.
my last 3 google searches were anal itchy vagina and ice cubes
Is it weird for a girl to post pictures of her dildo no facebook?
gail simmons from food & wine magazine just heard me order my plan b pill
did you ask her what wine to pair it with?
After you puked you called ur mom and told her you fucked on her bed, then u said "Have a good night mommy!" hung up and passed out on my couch
that would explain 17missed calls and 3 very angry voicemails from her
A cab driver remembered me by name, address, and ex fuck buddys nick name from a year ago. I mustve been one memorable shit show.
I think I'm going to inject the gummy vitamins with vodka
I'm glad you're using your medical degree for some good for once
I don't give a shit about soccer but I'm really excited about drinking at 7 in the morning
Trying to figure out if I'm the second dude she hooked up with yesterday. I feel like a consolation prize
if u cant get laid at this wedding we need to have a looooooong talk about the possibility of u becoming a lesbian
just when i thought i had forgotten how badthe sex was he comes across campus solely to say hi
Think worst case scenario and then dress sluttier
I have no idea what's going on.... I just want to wear my horse sweatshirt and drink vodka.
I told him I was engaged, had 911 on speed dial and made him wear his seatbelt, then dropped his drunk ass off at his motel...probably not the night he was expecting.
Annabeth just got on the bar and slurred something about how she was worried that when she started dating you your penis wouldnt fit. You are one lucky bastard my friend.
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