im having a threesome with these popsicles
do girls know yet that the best boners are in the morning?
Gross thing of the day...i got cum in my new boots
literally hosing herself off in my back yard with the hose. i offered her the shower but she refused. that drunk.
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I have bruises on the inside of my thighs from sliding down the stair case...thanks for encouraging that slut show
I promise not to drug you or anything. Please come to my birthday party.
When a girl says " I never would have come over if I knew I was getting kicked out at 7am." the correct response isn't "but think of how responsible you're being."
Oh, and also, a couple of straight girls showed up. But they ran away.
I spilled beer everywhere which led to an oil fire and me melting a spatula again. And then I was late to class so I explained what happened to the teacher.
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I've finally done it, I've downloaded some messenger lesbians like to use because some girl wanted to flirt.
Congrats, you're all grown up now.
I FEEL LIKE A GAY BUTTERFLY
Can you tell me why Star Wars Burlesque is pulled up on my phone from last night?
Shaving your balls drunk sounds like a good idea untill you do it
It's all fun and games until you rupture a testicle
he called me his ex's name during sex then proceeded to cry while still in me
Like I didn't gracefully walk into these feelings. No, I fucking stumbled and fell face fucking first.