We need to have an Itty-Bitty Titty Committee mtg somewhere in the range of 5 minutes to ASAP.
At the Phils game. My gay buddy just wanted up to a bunch of Mets fans and said "I'm gay, and even I think Mets fans are a bunch of fags." I love this fuckin town.
He IMed me 5 times, before my homepage even loaded. This is not gonna work out for me
i woke up with a wedding ring drawn on my finger...if this was vegas id be worried
I don't care. I'll be that guy that eats cake in a car. Alone. With the doors locked.
Thanks for the ave Maria song you left on my phone that lasted for TEN minutes.
thanks for at least making it out of the pool before you threw up
I just finished deleting miscellaneous contacts from my phone ... time for a HIV test!
I remember three things: you falling down an entire flight of stairs, me stripping out of your Christmas one-sie to do cartwheels in my underwear, and people standing above me saying, "where did that bump on her head come from?"
Also, I was told I kept the antlers on the entire time. I'm deeming last night a success.
I just got woken up by some Christians who wanted to talk about the bible. ways to make a hangover even worse for a thousand trebek
you left saying you wanted to "go piss on that girl's doorstep" and we didn't see you the rest of the night
that actually explains a lot
He did not appreciate the "you did reuse the diamond" comment when looking at his new fiance's ring.
Looks better than the half a blow job I got the other night which I had to finish myself. From a chick I refer to simply as "mom jeans".
Hey does the gas gauge in your car work?
Nevermind...we figured it out. Heres a more relevant question, does your insurance have roadside assistance?
Plus he probably didn't want to be at home, alone... Jacking off on the big screen without you there to lend a helping hand. I mean, let's be honest. It's not fun if it's not a little weird.
Randomize
