wouldve been great, if we lived in constant slow motion cause that shit lasted 30 seconds and half the time he was putting on the condom
so I was like, you know platform 9 3/4? I know something else with those measurements. best. pick up line. ever.
so today in my theology class we brought up the proper way to have sex. so rough sex was said by the teacher...I said I know a girl that likes to be choked. sorry but everyone knew it was you
in mid cry she says "I can be a whore if I want to"
i just added your friend Valery on the FB just to comment on your tits.... thought id give you a heads up
good, we got high then went swimming. shelly forgot to keep swimming so we tied her to the ladder in the shallow part with her bikini top.
He waited exactly 18 minutes to booty call me after his break up.
College has taught me that the "best idea" is rarely the fun one.
This is true but you can't really get fired from college
I just totok an inventory of my purse: 1 apple, 1 pair of underwear, 7 condoms, $18 in ones, a check with "for sexual healing" in the subject line, and a 4 oz bottle of wine.
Oh! and a letter from a judge saying I got an interview. Cause that balances it out.
Plus now I feel weird sleeping with you. It's like shooting a three legged deer. It's already at a disadvantage and couldn't get what it's full potential deserves.
He called us the '3 Amigos' and told us if hos ex wife came we had to jump the porch railing and hide in the bushes.
Batteries died. I don't care that you're studying for the bar. Come over. Bring the law books and study after. I'll even make coffee.
The port-o-potty that I peed in last night didn't actually have a toilet in it. And i never told anyone until this moment.
kick those bitches in the teeth and tell them mama came to party
well you're talking to a woman who had glorious sex less than 24 hrs ago so my opinion is biased.
Randomize
