there is a puppy in the bar... no really i didnt steal this one
that john and kate plus 8 dude has ruined asians for me
make any headway on the foot/dick situation?
He said we were driving the golf cart through the woods screaming 'iceroad truckers' for four hours in the dark
haha I love it when I find out that girls who were mean to me in middle school are now some random dude's baby mama. thanks, facebook.
I mean. If you don't have time I understand, but my dick doesn't.
Girl in my class with fire painted on her face. I. need. that. weed.
Our local strip club now has karaoke. Do you realize what this could mean for my sex life?
Just ordered a clown who does balloon animals. No backing out now.
That's the kind of break up sex that keeps couples together. Damn.
His phone pocket dialed me while he was crapping. He was quietly singing stayin alive and possibly passing his intestines.
Rumble strips road head = magical
I sent my roommate a text from MY phone that said, "I don't know where my phone is." Must've been a good night.
Kids parked next to me are getting it on. I'm eating chicken nuggets listening to Kanye alone. Happy Valentine's Day.
if anyone asks you the platypus in my bathtub is a gift...thats all anyone needs to know
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