You should never have let annie watch you have sex with other women
do you think he would believe thats it not really my period, and that i ate a lot of licorice?
thats the mark of a good guy. when you can period all over his leg and he still thinks you're beautiful!
he asked me out through an event invitation on facebook, the title read Romantic Dinner For 2
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she just came into my room, drunkenly shoved six dollars into my bra and told me to spend it on chicken wings.
i robbed the continental breakfast last night
You know, it doesn't really count as a walk of shame if you guys showered together the next morning
I was trying to make tacos and friends but there was a major language barrier.
Why the hell did you invite him? He's gonna bring two more inches of dick and zero fun.
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He's German, so by default he gets to fuck me.
If throwing a bottle across the bar, hitting a skank in the head and not getting caught was an Olympic event, you'd bring merica the gold every time
We turned a watering can into a margarita bong.
LOL he's a hopeless romantic now? 🤔 I'd say giving him a bj in a freakin softball dugout isn't the most romantic thing but it still happened
Dude, do you think he'd be pissed if he found out that I always reference him as my starter husband?
i need you to come over and tell me if you can notice that i'm only wearing a teddy underneath my trenchcoat
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