Dude i dont know how people can complain that waterboarding is such a bad thing. I just sat through a fucking puddle of mudd show. Now thats torture
Just had another dream about being on Real Chance of Love. I think it's a sign.
I don't know if the fire truck was perfect timing or if she actually burned something down.
So i've def seen the girl running for student body VP getting fingered in a bar.
I've spent the last ten minutes rubbing glue sticks on the wall
I'm sorry I ignored your high cries for help while you were grating cheese on my dog.
Posh spice and Baby spice both in one night. Fantasy complete. God bless halloween.
Also, I'm sat on the floor drinking cava because life is just not working for me tonight.
While you wait, fill out your state patrol application. Not trying to be your mom, I just really want to fuck a cop.
When you can pee with one hand accurately while texting, you drink too much.
sex, shower, sex, ice cream sandwiches?
I feel like my map app knows I'm hungover and is strategically not driving me by fast food places so I cannot stop
So... In conclusion, do I bring my vibrator and risk not only having it getting taken out at security, but also exposing my dad to my neon green vibrator, or just leave it here?
One of my interns found me on Grindr. I'm really gonna make him earn the absurd amount of money I pay him.
Why can I remember how tall Nicki Minaj is from looking up her height once months ago, yet after weeks into the semester I can't even remember where any my classrooms are located
Importance
Randomize
