she was wearing a cheetah print one-piece and i slept with her anyway. big mistake.
I cant wait for the day that I tell my daughter I named her after my favorite porn star.
Court Ordered Rehab!!! Do you think I'll need a swimsuit?
Just found a hundred dollar bill on the ground. Hope you're looking to drink tonight
I need a pic of your cock for our cock collage
ive penciled you in for a day of excessive drinking
You rubbed your penis on my leg and said "people have paid for this kind of action"
like seriously. this whole place is the shit. like i can move clouds. no other way to explain it but i can fucking move clouds.
I think tonight's gonna be the night I wear a go pro while trippin on acid
I had a dream last night that I met Diplo. Now I'm just sad
do I look like a person who has full control of their limbs and existence on this plane of reality
Just ignore the penis. It's won't bother you. I promise.
I should not be able to sum up my life with a taco brand motto...
It was great. Except he kept asking me to lick his butthole, I was like firm no
I’m not dating him for his personality. I’m dating him so I can steal his dog.
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