I just ate 10 fun sized 3 musakteers.. I'm pretty sure I'm about to start my period.
Talk to you next week
You can't hide fat with big sunglasses.
Its way too early to be sitting naked at his dining room table...
Just heard "Kiss Me Though the Phone" for the first time. Amazed how it took Soulja Boy two songs to become a shitter version of Ja Rule.
I'm driving behind a lime green VW that has "Seniors '10!" shoe polished on the rear window. i haven't even seen her yet, but I do have a boner.
my mom just asked me about sexting and if I have ever sent a naked picture to anyone. i fucking hate fox news.
i was so drunk i stopped mid-blowjob to make sure he i was with my boyfriend and not some random. twice.
Very hungover, bought a newspaper and found my shorts from last night in the machine.
haha it staarrted out with just getting drunk then it turned into sports authority. So now im 4th or 5th in line and shit faced. Help me
Got him to take a shot from the drip pan on the George Forman. He's gone now.
You have my approval. I will dance and throw skittles at your funeral.
Mixed review. I fucked her in the river, but then we were assaulted by ducks.
The length of my leg hair is a constant reminder of how long it's been since I even thought I had a chance of getting laid.
Not sure. He doesn't know where New York is on a map but he gives an incredible spanking.
Who cares about New York?
I flashed the bar tender last night. Apparently I wanted a whiskey to go and that was the golden ticket. This is why I never come home
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