it's like i warped into dreamland and the only thing that makes sense is my solo cup
So, I just pissed in her shampoo bottle. Hope she enjoys a late golden shower from me.
any chance you can send me your legal ethics outline, in exchange for say, me buying you a lapdance the next time we go to the strip club?
while being fingered today, I was told I have an abnormally deep g-spot. Now you know, I am a size queen because of SCIENCE.
The last thing I remember is yelling "ill handle this" while wearing a lion suit and holding a jug of vodka when the RAs came
Jessi just used the excuse "it's not you it's me" to get out of getting a lap dance.
we're tailgating intramural basketball with hard drugs and tequila...and i think the players are taking shrooms
Don't worry that pussy is fresh, I'd brush my teeth with it.
I don't know how we managed to stay up but we actually sat in front of her open refrigerator for god knows how long while she ate salami straight out of the package with her fingers and I laughed. It was a trainwreck.
Hot freshmen.....hot freshmen chicks everywhere
You say this every welcome week, bro.
pretty sure tht was the guy who once went to the club dressed as waldo. he still looks weirdly fuckable.
Some guy is here to get laser hair removal on his balls. I hate my job.
My boss is paying me to come clean his house in a maid outfit and told me not to tell anyone....this is shady as fuck but I need the money
idk but im stoned n hiding in the bathroom from my kids with a really big bowl of really little candy bars
I am no longer and illegal Moonshiner. I just made thousands of gallons of incredibly High test alcohol with police watching and waiting for thare couple of jugs so that they can bring home and disinfect their houses with it. I'm fat with money at the moment.
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