i cvme to yuor rooom...wherer are youf?
please be gone before i get back
Everytime we come here you have an ex here.
he wasnt into me til he saw how good i was at ms pacman. wtf why does this always happen? when she kisses pacman it was a little awkward, so i made my move. i went for more than one kind of banana last night!
So. Did i wake up at 430, try to drive home, stop to throw up at a shell, and try to clean out my car and drop my keys in a full dumpster? Yes.
hey, we don't wanna leave the house because we're watching fireworks on tv. this is america.
I'm surrounded by 3 year olds in tutus. They are far too innocent to be within at least 500 ft of me.
I'm gonna drop in for a zip later man. It made me wanna eat my girls shampoo. Good shit
I actually bought food at McDonald's as an apology for what I was about to do to their bathroom.
He sent me a recycled dick pic! He could at least use one without sunlight in it, considering it's 10pm
Owwwww. Yeah. I can barely move unless Im high on vicodin. We are bad at drinking/balancing. We will be the first to break hips and have to go into a home.
Guess who just enrolled into online classes at Hogwarts? This gal.
Stripping out of my teacher clothes to Talk Dirty to Me. Who let me become a teacher?
I don't know man. I fell outside Pizza Hut and an employee had to perform first aid. But I think I got free pizza. So it was worth it.
honestly i've never been more attracted to you than when you threw up on my floor
I think you know you’ve caught feelings when you’re asking a tinder boy his opinion about your current fuck buddy.
Randomize
