I'm so turned on right now it's fucking stupid. I hate burger king commercials
So I fucked that hot french guy last night
You do know he's the one who threw up on our table, right? You get to clean it up.
Shaking her cervix like it's the hottest ticket around
I just don't get it. Video games don't suck his dick.
The fish's death was accidental. We all said a few words at his funeral. Roomie wanted to play only the good die young as he swirled down the toilet bowl
Happy heartbreak day....you got chocolates, I'm eating them/ throwing them out the window at passing couples
The problem with that is that my car has been stolen
Everyone was trying to get you to do a keg stand but you refused & instead declared you could do it yourself, crouched on the keg in your 6 inch heels, leaned over, and gave yourself one.
i gave up on the vacation being fun the night i ate all the marshamallows out of the lucky charms while everyone else was having sex in the condo
I had a flashback of using my sock as a napkin after we got taco bell
When you get shitfaced you find strippers when I get shitfaced I speak to woodland creatures, do you see the dilema?
The only people who will bring me pizza or tacos want a commitment and I'm hungry for food not their love.
You can say goodbye to our security deposit.
Already? What he do?
Opened a bag of topsoil at the party and spread it all over the living room. TOPSOIL!
it's like my eyeball is being humped by my eyelid
i dunno but you just looked at him said "youre making me really wet" and straight pissed your pants
Randomize
