The worlds most fuckable chipmunk
How come it tastes like onions whenever I go down on her?
since we're both too lazy to go to each others house, you drink there, i'll drink here and we'll skype. it's the same thing.
do you ever get flashbacks of ppl you had sex with and just shudder at how gross they were/how drunk you were?
story of my life.
It was so weird. I had like an out of body experience. I heard the moaning, but I didn't know it was me.
Hint of advice dont get with minor league baseball players, you can google their stats but not their stds.
Ill give you a 4 hour blow job if you make my nephew go to bed.
Just served breakfast to a bunch of hella drunk kids. They kidnapped the birthday boy for his 21st and he was wearing a disney onesy and bunny ears. They've been drinking since before dawn, why don't we have friends like that?
Getting high magically turns headaches into rainbows.
I've been drinking vodka for the last 12 hours at the beach and can't see straight and have awesome hair.
LIFE IS #1 SOMETIMES
He had "Bad Bitches Only" tattooed above his dick. I don't know his name but I hope I find him again. I also don't feel that I lived up to the challenge.
Hey are you going to the pride parade? If so get me a shit ton of condoms
Woke up on the couch with one cowboy boot on and a hat over my crotch. God bless texas.
You should just construct a mini-city, actually. Then destroy, photograph and post. Who could turn down a dick that conquered a whole city? Craigslist personals wont know what hit it.
Only real friends lend their restraints to engagedfriends to fool around with married strangers.
Randomize
