you were so high you spent the rest of the night smelling pepper to prove you can sneeze with your eyes open
I have eleven tally marks and an infinity sign drawn on my wrist in permanent marker. Senior bar crawl stole my liver.
I couldn't tell if those girls from the bar were lesbians or just awesome
I just found a pubic hair on my dick that wasn't mine.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I told him he was my first gentile. He was so flattered.
He's Hawaiian. Thank god it wasnt a real American
He puked on the grill while the burgers were on. We had to go to taco bell
Like. I probably should fuck him. I owe him for breaking his thumb.
all im saying is that if he was a normal person, he would have fucked me by now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
they drunkenly created an obstacle course for the poor hamster and its ball.
I'm rearranging all my life goals to become a billionaire by 28 and batman by 30. Not kidding.
I don't know which is worse, the fact that he can say will you fuck me in so many languages or that I'm turned on because of that
Fuck you and your fucking taquito's.
What a better way to celebrate that I'm single by becoming a stripper and making $1000 in one night
I woke up not knowing what state I was in. Turns out, people from Deleware are pretty helpful.
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