it's business casual sex. like no kissing, shake hands after, occasional frequency
So I'm driving and this guy next to me at the stop light is reving his engine and honking at me. Motherfucker thinks that's because I'm asian and drive a honda I'm automatically going to race him
homeboy just tried to sext with me at 8:30 in the morning while I was on a job interview...
so you did it...
obv...but still...it was inconsiderate.
She just threw the soap bottle at me from the ladie's room and keeps asking me when we left the bar and got on the boat.
Mike is so stoned. I just heard him quietly mutter to himself "rock a piss" as he walked down the hall to the bathroom
I'm sorry I drunk dialed you before realizing that you were already in bed with me.
When the neighbors threatened to call the cops, he yelled at them that American laws didnt apply to him because he was Danish. He then sang his own version of "America fuck yeah" along to daft punk, then fell down the porch steps. Can we keep him?!?!
Just follow the currents of life. And if they take me on to a guys dick, so be it.
I'm gonna chug this bud light an might injure this high school penis, like I'm 17 again
There's only two more days left to say you saw me naked this year.....I'll bring the booze, you got all of next year to rationalize why.
I'm beginning to think shitting his pants is just a normal thing for him.
Being pregnant feels like you have a hangover everyday.. Don't listen to what anyone says about how wonderful it is
Every time I download Tinder again, I hate myself a little more.
It was terrible. I am sore from head to toe, neither of us got off, and we were at it for an hour and a half, I faked having a heart episode so we could stop. It worked.
You literally snort drugs up your nose and you’re questioning the brand of the multivitamin right now?
Randomize
