Any of you guys fuck a 16 year old again? Because our front yard got fucked over high school style.
God I'm so bored. I wish I had a baby or something to play with.
And this is exactly why you should NEVER have kids.
my bf wants us to fuck our way into the new year.. how original..
We banged through her entire lady gaga playlist. I can die happy now
I thought making out with his sister would be a great way of meeting him. But it backfired.
Dude I was taking a shower and I kept looking down at the drain expecting Mario to come up, yell "It's a me, Mario!", tickle my balls, and go back down the drain.
The fool I made of myself at the Ugly Christmas Sweater party last night was surpassed this morning when I walk of shamed 6 miles at 7am with one mysterious wet leg and no pants on. I think my mom saw me and waved.
I've blown him while he hit my bong, I've blown him while he played video games and now I'm looking for a new challenge. Don't even try suggesting a blumpkin.
I'm not entirely sure what happened last night, but I think I dislocated my kneecap during an epic Mario Kart battle...
In two unrelated events today I have had frostbite on my toe and cum up my nose. Who says life stops when you get married?
I'm eating cake, naked, in bed. I am GREAT at being single.
I found her in my pantry with her shirt off twerking...I tapped her on the shoulder and she said she was giving Chef Boyardee a show and to give her a minute...
You ate my pie without asking. So don't get butt hurt if I send you link to plus size clothing stores.
it's unicorns you uncultured swine
You thought her boot was a stray dog in your house..
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