my boss just made his own remix to aaron carter's i want candy. i cant decide if its the funniest or most embarrassing thing ive seen
my neighbors are having lesbo sex right now.
I'm on my way.
Eric and I got kicked off of karaoke last night. Apparently, singing about masturbation to the tune of "A Whole New World" is not appropriate and definitely frowned upon by the DJ.
It was the first time I had seen his penis when it wasnt hard. It just looked so vulnerable and a little bit depressed.
There's three frat guys comparing how you were in bed. apparently you have gotten worse with time
He would stand there for a few seconds with a blank look on his face then randomly start running full sprint towards macdonalds. We'd catch him and he'd promise to stop so we'd let him go and he'd do it again.
I don't think you seem to understand this concept. WHEN A GAY GUY HANDS YOU A DAIQUIRI, YOU DRINK IT.
We just leapfrogged all the way to the bar.
It's Christmas, you should know what a virgin is.
We did it to 80's cardio music. Talk about a workout.
The fact that I can sew my leggings while intoxicated proves I'm a functioning alcoholic
Do you own a cuff key and know where Karen lives?
He broke his arm in a fistfight with the bouncer. it was neat.
I paper cut my nipple reading mail topless
Every time I look at him 'Relax' by Frankie Goes to Hollywood plays in my head. Is that weird?
Randomize
