hell yes lets make some ravioli
i just keep taking vicodin and supergluing random shit
I think it was the chocolate body paint and awesome blowjob that finally made us official.
Ok I might come if this chair quits being so great...I'm also seeing this bush in the corner turn into a witch
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
and his room smelled like strippers, childrens tears, and fear
So im on with some ukrainian stripper for a vodka tasting tomorrow. If I die tell my family im awesome
I don't think my body can handle the alcohol I want to put in it anymore.
The best way to start drinking is as early as possible. eg, this bar isn't open but we're patiently waiting outside. That way you're confident and exciting when the talent arrives. Or too drunk to care.
He's going to be my graduation present to myself.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You came home And decided to make beer battered bacon... That's why there was smoke
i woke up with fake boobs glued on my chest and a large black dildo on my hand. then i had to dress myself and walk home. people saw.
Is there like a dick file on me? Guys can't hold two dicks anymore?! Who are you people????
I was gonna be Romantic and write your name in emoji eggplants but A's are hard
The orgasm I got from him made me feel almost as good as I imagine the girls in the tampon commercials feel.
I'm like a great zombie Jesus.
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