Fyi I let myself into your place, I'm wearing some of your clothes in your bed. Come take them off
What a fucking waste of an outfit
I don't llike drinking between sober and blackout. Its boring.
I'm okay, they said the swelling should go down in a week. But next time I'm shitwrecked, please make sure to remind me that I can't open a champagne bottle with corkscrew.
No - a douche bag is not a fashion accessory. They do not make Gucci Douchebags
Just met someone from Jersey. No fist pumps or jagerbombs. Kind of disappointed...
That's what happens when you park you car under a perfectly good balchony I can puke off of
it's ok. you also told me I can feel free to vomit on your blow dryer sometime.
Can we just discuss how hundreds of miles away we were both beyond drunk and in some boys bed. That is the definition of friendship.
A man just sang Jennifer Lopez to me out his car window. I am not sure how I feel about this, but it is not positively.
Sneaking the vodka in was the easy part.. listening to medley of puking in the porta pottys was not
well don't blame me. sometimes vibrators go missing and people get angry. these things happen
Glow Paint looked great for the Black Light Party last night, Tonight having a glow in the dark Pizza on my arm, not so much.
wanna see your best friend chug a bottle of steak sauce?
please go to sleep
My dog and I just went outside to pee together.
Randomize
