One girl and one boy is just not enough.
apparently my drunken alterego is a lazyeyed bisexual.
She has 2500 facebook friends. I probably should have used a condom.
he got up in front of the whole lecture hall and yelled that Charlie Brown's Christmas tree was his favorite book in the history of the universe. then he stumbled out the fire exit setting the alarm off. I could've jumped him right then and there.
Her vagina is like Vegas. high traffic and full of glitter.
Literally getting boned by my flask right now. I didn't really think about this whole sneaking past security in a skin tight dress.
ive been a drunken mess for the last 5 days. i feel like a 19 year old again
still in the ER. she tried to shotgun a bottle of corona
This is most sickening thing I've ever seen, and I threw up my body weight in jello shots on my birthday.
and ive been naked for the greater part of the evening. alone, drunk, and naked. i think that is how all great interventions start.
I found the crust to my pizza under my covers that's cool
We'll get you some ice cream, but no sprinkles. Sprinkles are for winners.
My mom just asked me if I knew what Buzzfeed was. Then said she's watching the second Magic Mike for the bodies. Please help.
ok first of all what the fuck
He was so drunk last night. He woke up out of a dead sleep at 330am, walked over to the dresser, opened his middle drawer and proceeded to pee. When I woke up and asked him Wtf he was doing, he told me it was fake pee and blamed it on the cat...we don't have a cat
Randomize
