I totally give up. Optimus Prime just fell from the top of the Great Pyramid into the hypostyle hall at Karnak.
We were doing it doggy style, and I puked on the floor and started crying, he told me it was okay his cat would eat it... and if it would make me feel better we could do anal...
And they lived happily ever after....
she was licking his armpits.
asian porn is just fucking weird. End of story.
Look at it this way: if he'll have sex with a tomato, he'll have sex with you.
I'm just a little drunk right now and I have to work at 3
Omg sara
I ran out of milk and it's hot and I was thirsty
So take that alcohol. I still win. I ALWAYS WIN. Plus i didn't have to wear clothes. DOUBLE WIN.
Well i think matt shit his pants so ill mark that as a W
she was braiding my hair and singing forever young while she vommed everywhere at the same time. Talent.
if the furniture in my bedroom wasn't shape shifting... this would be a different story.
alll i remember is comming back downstairs, his pants were off and he was aplauding me
I just got St Patricks day and the day after St Patricks day off, wich I'm pretty sure is as close to a raise as I'll ever get.
Because it's not worth it. And there is no nice way of saying "sorry, you're not good enough at sex for me to drive 45 mins"
And now let us go forth, and be garbage people in public.
Isn't that our default mode?
So I'm buying milk, bread, yogurt & lube. Not awkward at all
Basic items
Sorry, Geoff can’t come to his phone right now. He’s outside trying to show his dick to a bachelorette party bus with “DTF” written on the windows
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