dude i woke up laying next to some guy. i dont have my bra or his name. he has a nice tv though.
And then i made him answer questions about me before i took off my clothes
finally stumbled home. 4am. made it to the bathroom and threw up. the cat came in,s aw me, looked at the vom in disgust, and then threw up too. its nice to have such sympathetic pets.
We almost died tonight..we almost die every night. but tonight was the closest by far
He lectured me about the dangers of drugs while wearing a sombrero and doing interpretive dance.
Can you tell me how this chicken finger got in my pillow case?
This storm betta not fuck with taco tuesday
Day 1 of the Fuck Your Ex weekend has been productive. Already boned Steph and we're both still glad we arnt together anymore.
If you already knew specifically that I was smoking a bowl in my remodeled bathroom AND THEN still wanted to initiate sexting, please proceed to the altar and marry me this instant.
Who's the captain of your team? Captain Morgan as usual?
And me
We need to get Harry and Lloyd's tuxedos from Dumb and Dumber. I feel like this is a vital thing that is missing from our lives.
Soo I'm in the trunk of a car drunk about to jump on trampolines. My life rocks!
Oh my god.. Saw a commercial for Captain Morgan. Made me gag a little bit.
if it makes you feel any better you looked really comfortable while you were sleepin in the closet, atleast according to the pictures i woke up with on my phone
I woke up under the stretchy sheet like the corners were still stuck under the bed. I had to wiggle the corners off in order to get up. I was trapped. how did that happen
Randomize
