Im watching he's just not that into you, eating way too much pizza, and feeling very single.
I want to leave work and go home and eat Five Guys and masturbate
I love you. And by the way. I found out a way for you to train your gag reflex. Elliot taught us in math.
so he just called his new girlfriend by my name and she was too drunk to even notice how awkward..
This is one of those situations that make me think to myself "what life decision did I make to get here"
I have fifteen cents in cash and 80 cents in the bank. BUT I have weed.
He came in, laid on our floor and started to make a snow angel.. On the floor. Then he just left never said a word. 20 mins later walked back in and dropped his pants, looked down and said "wow im happy i had boxers on."
he's got a countert top full of yard sale blenders so id say maragita wednesdays is a go.
I'm okay.. I had a good heart to heart with the cab driver Raheem - it's going to be our year.
Because drinking and showering don't go hand in hand. There that's my PSA of the day.
This time last year, you were undressing me from my gecko costume and getting freaky in a public bathroom. Tough to top that New Years Eve.
No feeling is better than coming home from your booty call and putting on a fresh pair of granny panties
He's got the good dick trifecta - flip phone, works outside, bed with no headboard.
It's official cum is not a great leave in conditioner
I swear to god, no guy has been as interested in sticking stuff up my butt as this girl
Randomize
