I am not having having sex with guys at the moment.
I can pretend to be a girl if you want. I have a tongue.
I DID IT WITH MY SOCKS ON!
I think my emotional moodswings have reached a new low. I cried for the entire duration of changing my tampon.
but seriously ill do anyone in one of those hats with the earflaps.
She's dressed as Musafa. How could this not be a good idea?
I'm not 100% sure, but I think someone gave me a bath last night...
He had rug burn on his nose from my landing strip
She's cheated on every boyfriend she's ever had with the same guy. She's like a slutty yo-yo.
Last time I stayed at my moms my fucking car got set on fire sooo maybe I should think this through.
You refused to get in the cab so we rock paper scissored to decide who walked you home and the fat guy was it. So don't blame your poor hook-up choice on me; it was all you.
I'm so high I feel like I'm pedaling a bicycle but I'm laying on the couch. My body might be vibrating. I made soup.
My one regret (beside the inevitable shit storm that followed) is that now I can't fuck his cute friend.
I tried to help you up but you said "let me dance it off"
I'm kind of pissed I'm not hungover, that means I could have totally drank more last night.
You ran up to my room. I was naked. You refused to leave without drugs. I love you.
Randomize
