Cool, see you soon... she just admitted to her friends that it was a queef.
just went onto Yahoo and the featured article had a picture of one of the Jonas brothers. last two times the featured article was a celebrity's face the headline was "Michael Jackson is Dead" and "Pitchman Billy Mays is Dead" so naturally I got a little excited. Turns out he's just engaged. Who gives a fuck.
:)
Wipe that smile off your face.
Just showed mom and dad the pics from San Francisco, while i played the Full House theme song in the background.
I'm at work, still drunk. Can you turn on the radio? If the station goes off the air I passed out. Can't get fired. Haven't slept yet.
The plants looked thirsty. Growing plants need mimosas too.
so exactly what does one wear to an abortion clinic?
It can't be good... The last recollection I have is singing lullabys to his penis
He spent the entire date challenging me to chugging contests.
Showering in my swimsuit in hopes of getting the beer smell out.
You should try cooking mac & cheese naked sometime. It's quite relaxing.
Is it true if I say your name three times, you'll appear and whore everything up?
She's cute, but batshit. Like some kind of dominatrix disney princess.
Are you trying to say I've made an emotionally well rounded transformation similar to the Grinch?
Took my nervous poop earlier then expected it's gonna be a good day
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