I'm so horny!
I'm so hungry
WHAT A TERRIBLE REPLY!
For your pussy...
he's from indiana, of course he's clueless about "g-spots"
I hurt. I blacked out in a onesie. Reevaluation needs to happen.
Jenny was looking for something soft to drink since it's only noon, she chose spiced rum. Think she might die today
after the fucking you spent twenty minutes vomiting naked and shaking your dick at my roommates. luckily, i don't remember that, or i'd have to be really insulted.
Can I tell you that I just incorporated the spice girls in my sexting and you not judge me
Can you please help mom and dad? Theyre trying to figure out Skype, and its like 2 cavemen finding fire.
Still drunk on my morning "run" which has turned into a walk. Just burped fireball
I'm about to turn myself in when I'm less hungover.
It's like we're in an emotionally distant three-way and there's not even sex to show for it.
Just get over here and light metaphorical fireworks in my literal vagina
I feel like ditching all logic and responsibility and get shit-faced before the week's over. Thoughts?
I woke up this morning to find myself laying in a beer puddle with "I'm sorry" written on the shaft of my dick and Nicole was nowhere to be found. Gotta love her
MY TITS JUST CAUSED A CAR ACCIDENT ON THE HIGHWAY! i kid you not!! i thinl the giy is actually dead
so we’ve decided to fuck for our own health
Randomize
