with your own penis?
Did you see 7 ppl got hurt at Talladaga?
Did they get their mullets stuck in an engine?
dude, the building's fire alarm was going off for over an hour last night and you didn't move
that's ok, when I'm passed out drunk I'm impervious to flame
We're watching an ocean show on Discovery Channel and drinking every time they say "dolphins." PS. Seals kill birds. Tell all your friends.
someone lit off fireworks while I puked in the street. I was like congratulating me for making it through homecoming.
I am trapped in a bar with french tattooed drug dealers who also blow glass art. Just in case this is bad, know what happened.
I found an HIV test/information brochure on the kitchen table and what i can only assume to be an "I'm sorry you might have AIDS" gift bag, complete with a candle and popcorn, and I haven't seen you in 36 hours. You good?
3pm strippers are depressing
we're like Indians of the 21st century. trading not for food and survival but personal gain and by trouble you mean getting daytime drunk and going to the roller ring then yes.
I remember key bumps, porn and a mom in my bed. Sums up my day.
that is an amazing summary hahaha
Just saw a drunk bitch in the west village peeing on a car. You are not alone.
The fact that I bookended my summer with pregnancy scares doesn't upset me. The fact that he's a trombone major does...
Everytime I give him head I make him rub my back. Teamwork at it's finest.
What's the protocol for doing tequila shots at a baseball game when you're chaperoning for a church group? You know, hypothetically.
eveytime i go to his house my cute clothes always get taken off what's the point of even wearing them there?
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