and then he said that some chick told him he danced like an epileptic on crystal meth. he then proceeded to demonstrate this statement, which i can testify is 100% accurate.
I can do anything tonight that doesnt involve an erection.
Europeans suck. I just gave him head and somehow i am the one paying for the coffee
I had no idea a 5'8 girl could fit entirely on her knees in front of the passenger seat of a Sunfire, but I am very happy to now have that knowledge.
We made out for three hours. Then she said she didn't sleep with redheads and left the party. So yes, I'm still drinking.
I believe some people would call last night an orgy.
My vagina and my morals are playing tug of war
Part of my treatment is getting high and having sex with 22 year olds. I have a prescription!
My arrest report says I was found in midtown "performing lewd and lascivious acts on top of art meant for public display and enjoyment".
what's the least obnoxious place that i could barf on the bus?
We may not see eye-to-eye on much, but I'm definitely willing to let you see eye-to-vagina again.
I've made out with more people in 2014 than I did the whole fall semester
My intervention, when it happens, should have vanilla cake....buttermilk icing.
Just for the record, I did not have sex in your bed. Happy 4th of July.
The moment when you go to plug in someone else's phone in your car and your lube is in the way. Don't mind that it's just my center console car lube. Normal.
Randomize
