No, that was before the police came, but after the hooker.
I am so stoned and my professor is handing out candy. I love Halloween.
We're upstairs smoking....the password is pineapple
Chick took off her bra in the middle of class cuz it was "too hot." How's going out of state feel now?
Some mysterious chinese delivery man dropped off 2 free egg rolls. Clutch
What happened to "I wouldnt even touch her with a ten foot pole"?
Her vagina devoured it.
well... just scaled a wall and entered the bar through the balcony. just making some last minute memories nbd.
Apparently she saw two women get in a slapping match over a comforter at target yesterday. She said it was awesome. Clearly I take after her.
My nose hurts from that stripper beating me with her tits
I feel like I got hit by a truck. Or a baby dinosaur. One of them ran over my body and then stuck me in a blender of fire and storm clouds
I guess when I black out I feel that it's not inappropriate to grope my gf in front of her parents.... But hey at least I'm starting off 2013 single
It's called the dick transitive property. It states if you touch a person whilst they touch a dick, you are also touching said dick.
He kept saying I needed to go to the hospital and it just made me want to call him a pussy so I went to bed
he fell asleep naked and all I'm doing is staring at his weird balls
Went up to some dude that hit on Laura and told him he has a voice like a grandma. Apparently didnt have muscles or kindness like grandma so can you pick me up at the ER please?
Randomize
