Seriously dude, you need to stop beating off to the ellen show, it's just weird.
He asked me if I "almost moaned"
So my boyfriend is on his way over and there is no time to wash the sheets from when I had his roommate over earlier. Put them in the dryer with a damp bounce sheet. Win?
This is a whole new level of slut for you....do they smell ok?
Classy. Drunk on alcoholic "energy drink" at work before 8 am on a Tuesday. Between that and hanging out in bars with no pants on, your life is beginning to sound like a Bukowski novel.
I just need to know if he's either really genuine about being in my life or being in my vagina.
there were staples in my comforter. what kind of sex did we even have?
I dont care if your mom convinced you it should be an abstinent christmas. I did horribly on finals and i'm out of booze, so you will get over her and FUCK. ME. NOW.
He wanted to bang in the work van while we were on shift together. He convinced me with "It's like the Scooby Doo van but looks nothing like the Scooby Doo van."
He's German, so by default he gets to fuck me.
Donating $10 to Sandy victims for every hurricane I drink tomorrow. Buying me alcohol just became a good cause.
I have work in an hour and I'm having trouble with concepts such as 'staying upright' and 'staying conscious'. Tie me to your wrist next time we go out drinking,
Did we seriously steal a wet floor sign from McDonald's then get chased down by a homeless man for it? Never drinking again.
Hooked up with a 20 year old. Only reason I did was cos I thought he was 18
Of all of my friend's husbands, I like when yours hits on me best
Awe that means so much to us
Someone had to wrestle her in the chocolate pool, I'm glad I was man enough to step up and do it
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