so he shaved. down there. and before he took his pants off i thought it was hot but then all i could think about were the naked mole rats from 7 grade science class.
You were sitting at the bus stop holding hands with some Polish girl you just met, who was just as drunk as you were, and you kept trying to light your Kit Kat and smoke it.
I got my period while he was fingering me , I knew it because I never get that wet.
Did u at least say sorry?
I need someone to meet me at the end of the road and throw captain morgan at my face like they do with water at marathons
captain&coke to the library. STAT. this is an emergency. this is not a drill. I repeat: THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I totally just friend requested the girl I met in jail last night so that I could give her back the sunglasses she lent me upon our release. See, I'm not a total delinquent.
White grape blunt wraps are like the equivalent of a glass of wine in a tux.
I traded my pants for a Santa hat last night and it was so worth it.
I'm at the point in my life where I'm gonna sell my eggs for cash
I mean I only got hit in the ass with ONE firework
you told me I was being patronizing because I didn't want you to run barefoot across a construction site
This chick walked up to me in the bar and started making out with me, then grabbed my drink while I wasn't looking and walked off.
and i walked downstairs to find my brother using nunchucks, and making the appropriate noises. i simply asked "why"; his reply? "why the fuck do you think?". i love my family.
You can make out without kissing
Explanation needed
this is the second night in a row i've fucked a guy i met on craigslist. and it wasn't even a post for sex. i posted a housing ad. A HOUSING AD
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